Post-exchange Depression

Here I am, sitting alone in my apartment, reflecting on everything that has happened this past four months. This uneasy feeling inside of me is growing and growing.

Yesterday, I had my final exam for my Digital Marketing class. As weird as it was, when I finished my exam, I was a bit sad – mostly happy, but saying goodbye to the teacher was a bit hard. Weird isn’t it?

After the exam, along with some friends, I went for crepes in Old Antibes. After our lunch, most of us met up again at the beach to say our goodbyes to Naomi, who left Juan-les-pins in the early hours this morning – I miss her already.  At the beach, we celebrated our amazing memories and new friendships. Leaving the beach was hard.  Although I am leaving France only in two weeks, the thought of never seeing some of those new friends is daunting. I made sure to snap a million pictures and made everyone write a little message for me. I hope those messages will help me through my post-exchange depression. 

Group picture

Canadians :)

As I walked Naomi and her mother to the bus stop this morning, I remembered our very first day in Juan-les-pins, walking to the Spar supermarket. I wish we were back on that day, at the very beginning of our French journey. At this point, I am an emotional mess. One day, I can’t wait to go home and the next I want to stay forever. Today is one of those days that I want to stay here forever. Everything in this apartment reminds me of all the good times Naomi and I had: awesome freestyle homemade meals, hanging out at the dining table watching movies on our laptops etc.  Every single item that can be found in here all now have a sentimental value to me. I’ll stand in the bathroom and think about how much I’m going to miss it, or how much I’m going to miss the kitchen and the unusable can opener. Silly, right?

I am so glad my mom is arriving tomorrow. She’ll keep me busy so I don’t develop further my post-exchange depression. ..

Seventeen

Three days before my mom arrives and 17 days before I fly home.

Life is becoming more and more stressful as the end approaches. One presentation down, another presentation and final exam to go. After spending much, much time spent on studying for my Digital Marketing final -- which is tomorrow, I realize how much I chose the "wrong" school to go on an exchange. Don't get me wrong, my exchange is wonderful and school is going good. It's just that SKEMA Sophia Antipolis is extremely marketing oriented and I'm more of an accounting girl. If only the Paris campus was open to JMSB students. What am I saying? The French Riviera is awesome!

I wish I was sitting in a cute cafe, enjoying a crepe instead of studying. Soon, I shall be free.

The Truth Hurts

Seven days before I pick up my mom at the airport, 21 days before I fly home.

I'm so excited for my mom to arrive, but the thought of me leaving makes me sick. I want to go home, but I don't want to leave. The last sentence made absolutely no sense whatsoever.  I can't wait to go back and see my room, drive my car (okay, drive my dad's car) and see my friends. However, how can I possibly leave the bright sun, beautiful cerulean/turquoise water and warm white sand? It would made things much easier if only Montreal had something similar. At least it won't be snowing when I back home. All this sad talk is distracting me from my studies, which brings me to my next point.

I don't mean to offend anyone by saying this (I'm starting to sound like that mean, discriminatory UCLA girl! Hahaha!), but France has made me lazy. All my time spent here has made me forget how to study. Me of all people! People who know me know that all I do is study, study and study during the school year. All I have done in these past three months is to go out, sleeping in, travel and sunbathe at the beach. I don't even know how to study anymore! I can't read a PowerPoint slide without being distracted or falling asleep! Like my mom told me yesterday on the phone: "You're going to be screwed when you come back".  Thanks for the support mom! In reality, she is right. Truth hurts, doesn't it?